He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
