Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
