Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
