They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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