so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
