Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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