dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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