dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
