I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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