Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
