He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
