So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need to sanitize my soul.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
