Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
