You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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