you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
