some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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