Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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