I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
