I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
