i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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