Can Purell be used as lube?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We smell like vodka and hangover
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
