we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize