a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
its liver damage thursday
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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