her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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