The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
