i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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