And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
