It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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