i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
