yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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