Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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