that's an acceptable place to lick
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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