Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
