You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
