this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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