This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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