dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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