what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
