To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
