My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
