you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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