Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
