Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
being pregnant is like rehab
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
