.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
