we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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