Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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