one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
