He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
