It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
