connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
