it hurts more in the daytime
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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