we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
