At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
