Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize