dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
