too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
