Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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