After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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