Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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