Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
