Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
