You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
