The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
