Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
