You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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