He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize