if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
