Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i've created a new STD.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
