1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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