let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
