I hope mine doesn't look like that
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
