the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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